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Guest Post: 5 Ways Women Can Realize Their Own Worth

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CPXi-DAWN member and AdReady Senior Account Manager, Zabrina Janda, talks about some of the ways in which women can realize their own worth rather than feeling unhappy and insecure, in this guest blog post originally posted here.




So the more and more I talk to family, friends and clients I begin to notice the similarities in areas where women feel insecure or unhappy. The #1 area women have the most trouble with is realizing their own worth. It’s kinda sad really because I’m sure you know plenty of women that seem to have it all put together. They are smart as hell, incredibly gorgeous and can light up any room they walk into but have no idea. Well, maybe they have some idea but we as women have been brought up not to flaunt our strengths or when we do have these strengths, other women are jealous and don’t tell us.

Unfortunately, because women have still not learned how to lift each other up, it is our responsibility to express our own individual genius. We have the opportunity to shoot down our insecurities and realize our brilliance! Because we are amazing; we are incredibly smart, powerful, wise beings. Women who know their own value eliminate, or come really damn close to eliminating, jealousy, envy, depression, low self-esteem, and negative comparison. When you understand the amazing things you bring to the world, it becomes easier to say no to things you don’t want to do, ditch the guys that treat you like crap, and shoot for the high-paying position you previously felt unsure of. 

So I have put together a list of 5 Ways Women Can Realize Their Own Worth.

#1 Ditch toxic people in your life and surround yourself with people you admire. This is probably one of the most important things I had to learn especially because some of the people I had to separate myself from was my own family. It was difficult to realize that my closest friends and family were the ones bringing my positive energy down. All of our conversations were about money worries, not being able to do things we wanted to do, why we couldn’t get a higher paying job, and overall life complaints. It was very rare that we talked about each other’s accomplishments because everyone I was surrounded by was struggling to get by. They were in a mindset that they would always have to struggle and that nothing would ever change so the way they related to each other was with that same mindset.

After some harsh conversations and leaving a few relationships with a bad taste in our mouths, I was able to concentrate on creating relationships with people that had great personal goals. They had big dreams, loved challenges and embraced life. I was really uncomfortable at first because I felt less than. However, the more I hung out with them, the more I started to take on the same personality. I was dressing better, talking about new opportunities, and even exercising again! That’s when I came to realize that the people you surround yourself with is exactly what you become.

#2 Treat yourself like you are dating yourself. What do I mean by this? Well, when you are in love with someone, you treat them like a god. You buy them thoughtful presents, take them to great restaurants, and find fun activities to do with them on the weekend. You treat them better than you do your own self! You know how the Golden Rule says, “treat people the way you would like to be treated?” Well, where does it say treat them better than you treat yourself?!

We need to treat our bodies, minds, and souls like we are dating ourselves. We need to tell ourselves how gorgeous we look in our new dress, take ourselves to the movies for “me” time, and nourish our bodies with awesome food and exercise. Learn to love yourself.

#3 Pre-plan your week around you. This is again, kind of like dating yourself. When you find someone you really like, you begin to prioritize your week around them. “Oh, he wants to do dinner Tuesday, I’ll just move my appointment to Thursday.” This is backwards!!!

Instead, pre-plan your week with all of the things you need and want to do. Add in the manicure appointment, spin class, and picking up groceries. Once that is all in, then you can begin to add lunch with Ashley, dinner with John, and the late night work presentation prep. What we are doing is prioritizing your schedule so that you come first. I don’t know how many times I can say this, but you have to take care of yourself first. Without your own strength, happiness and energy, how do you expect to effectively help others?

#4 Unfollow people that make you feel bad about yourself. Why would keep looking at stuff that makes you feel insecure? Get rid of it! If you have to delete your Instagram account or stop watching TV for awhile, do it. You have to stop giving people that lower your self-esteem importance in your life. Don’t look them up, don’t enter conversations about that person, and certainly don’t compare yourself to them with your boyfriend.

You need to take the time to say YES to things that you love and eliminate everything else. This will not only increase your self-confidence but continually raise you positive vibrations.

#5 Figure out your unique qualities and embrace them. I know this is a lot easier said than done. Believe me, it took a long time to figure out what my unique qualities were but this is actually my job now! I help women discover their own unique path and learn how to embrace them.

First, I really began by noticing the patterns in my weekly schedule after I started prioritizing “me” time. What did I love to do over and over again. What did I love searching online? What were activities I made time for? These are things that make you uniquely you.

Next, I started to take online personality quizzes, reading “strengths” books, and writing down what my dream life would be. If you imagine yourself standing on a beach with nothing but yoga pants and bikini, then you are closer to realizing what you love.

And finally, ask your friends what they love about you. It doesn’t have to be a deep conversation but a, “Hey Sam, we’ve been friends with each other for awhile. What do you like about me the most?” They will start to tell you traits you already knew you had deep down but didn’t want to admit.